I can still vividly remember sitting in my doctors office the day my doctor said “we need to get this baby out.” It was a Monday morning and we were 8 days past my due date. I had just finished my final ultrasound and Anna Kate (who was still nameless at the time) was predicted to be 8 pounds give or take a pound. My doctor determined that I was still not dilated and she was not pushing down – she was perfectly content bundled up right where she was.
I remember feeling so defeated. I had tried so hard to get this nameless little girl out. We walked all the miles, bounced up and down, and ate all the foods ranging from super spicy to instant Kraft macaroni and cheese mixed with ketchup. If someone recommended it, I tried it. I received texts daily from friends and family claiming “tonight is the night” because it was the 4th of July, or there was a full moon, or any other old wise tale they could come up with. But as each day passed, still no baby.
My doctor could tell I was upset so he looked at his schedule and gave me two options. Option number 1. I could schedule my c-section for Wednesday July 8th, 2020 and get this little girl out. Option number 2. He could induce me on Wednesday (although he felt this would be a disservice to me) and I would start what he called “my long laboring journey” that could last a couple of days and would most likely end in an emergency c-section. At first I wanted to be stubborn and get induced, but ultimately I decided it was time to throw the towel in. We scheduled my c-section for Wednesday, July 8th, at 10 am.
Even after scheduling the c-section, I continued asking questions about the likelihood of her coming on her own or things I could do to increase the chances of her coming. My doctor was nice enough to entertain me and answered all of my questions, but he knew good and well this baby was not coming out on her own.
I remember walking out of the doctors office feeling so emotionally heavy (60 pounds to be exact). I had a lump in my throat and had no idea why I was feeling so upset. I had never given much thought about having a c-section or delivering vaginally, but I think because I no longer had a choice anymore, I was upset and over joyed at the same time. I wasn’t sure how to feel.
When I got to my car I called Brandon (he wasn’t allowed to come to my appointment because of Covid restrictions) and fought back tears as I told him we would be meeting our baby girl in two days. He couldn’t believe it – we finally had a date and time! He could tell I was upset and I remember him asking me how I was feeling about everything and I quickly told him that I was fine and we didn’t have a choice, this is what we were doing regardless. I rushed him off the phone because I didn’t want him to know I was upset (could it have been anymore obvious?! lol) but I had know idea why was feeling so emotional and I didn’t want to talk about it. Looking back, I was 40 weeks and 8 days pregnant so at that point anything probably could have made me upset and I wouldn’t have known why. I honestly think I was just overwhelmed with so many emotions at once and truly couldn’t believe we had a specific date and time that we would be meeting our baby girl.
Luckily, during the beginning of my pregnancy I reconnected with an old friend and we found out our due dates were within days of each other. I am the first of my close friends to have a baby, so everything was new to me and I didn’t have many people to connect with and ask questions to during my pregnancy. Of course I could always talk to my mom and ask her questions, but after 20 something years I think her memory was a little foggy of the pregnancy days – sorry mom!
Ironically, my friend and I both had stubborn babies that had June due dates but were born in July. We were both on baby watch together for the last two weeks of our pregnancies but it felt like 2 years! Her little boy was born just two days before my doctors appointment, on the 4th of July! After each of our appointments we would recap and talk about what was going on and what our doctors were saying. As soon as I got home I texted her and updated her on what was going on. She called me and she was in the car headed home as a new family of 3. I am so thankful we reconnected through this new to us season of life and for the peace of mind she gave me after hearing her talk about what she had just gone through. She labored for a crazy amount of hours and her pregnancy ended in an emergency c-section. She reassured me that my scheduled c-section was the best decision, told me what to expect, and even said she was already excited for her (God-willing) future babies because she knew she would just be able to schedule a c-section from the start. I was finally feeling less emotional and more excited!
Don’t let me fool you – we did still walk all the miles that night when Brandon got home and I ate easy Mac with ketchup (a recommendation from one of you) haha but still no baby.
After dragging on for weeks, time suddenly felt like it was flying by. I had so many things to do and so little time – like picking out a rug for our nursery. For those of you who were here for that saga, you know we ordered and returned a million rugs through out my pregnancy. I became a pro at rolling them back up and fitting them in their narrow tubes, baby bump and all. We still didn’t decide on one until after she was born. My parents FaceTimed us as they tested out the most recent batch of rugs in the nursery that were delivered while we were in the hospital. They were taking care of our pets and needed things to do to keep them busy and help pass the time until we could come home since they weren’t allowed at the hospital due to covid restrictions.
Anyway, it was the night before our scheduled c-section, we were going through our hospital bags to make sure we had everything although we had no idea of anything we needed, and trying to figure out how on earth we would ever fall asleep. No matter how many little things I did, I just kept feeling like I needed to be doing something more. Brandon started to try and wrangle me in and get me to bed. We knew morning would come fast, and we had to be at the hospital by 7am, but that night felt every bit like the night before Christmas.
Morning did come fast but I had no issues jumping right out of bed, showering with the special soap that you have to use before surgeries, and doing my hair and make up at 5am. It was baby day!!!
41 weeks + 3 days 6:15 am headed to the hospital.
As we kissed the pets goodbye and packed the car, it felt like we were going on a vacation of a lifetime. We basically drove to the hospital mainly in silence except for the few times that we said we couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Everything felt so surreal.
Even as we checked in at the hospital, it still felt like we were on vacation and checking into a hotel. I think part of it was walking ourselves in, carrying our luggage, and being shown to our room that made it feel this way. I’m not sure what I expected it to be like, but it just wasn’t anything I had experienced in a hospital setting before. Even when it was time for me to change into my hospital gown, I felt like we were at a resort and I was changing into a bathing suit. Clearly I was on a baby high because it was definitely no resort haha.
Brandon started getting emotional over my bump so after he got all the pictures he wanted, I hopped in the hospital bed and we waited for the nurse to start an IV and do my covid test. I was surprised, but Brandon did not have to get a covid test. I had been joking around and giving him a hard time about it, telling him how awful it was and that he was going to have to get one too. He was very thankful when we learned he didn’t have to get one. They said if mine came back positive, they would have just assumed he had it also. Luckily it was negative! They also mentioned that my iron levels were the best they had ever seen in a pregnant woman which really made me wish I would have known sooner and could have laid off the iron pills that I was choking down. They were awful and I feel for anyone who has to take them on a regular basis.
The nurse hooked up me up to a bunch of monitors and we laid there listening to the baby’s heart beat. I didn’t feel anything, but she mentioned that I was having a couple of contractions that she could see on the monitor. My doctor stopped by to say hello before the procedure and I made sure to let him know I was allegedly having some contractions. I was getting nervous about the procedure and thought I would try one last time to get out of it. He laughed and said we were keeping our plan and he would see me in there.
The anesthesiologist came in and explained step by step everything that would be happening from us leaving this room all the way through to our return back to this room. During his explanation he mentioned that after having skin to skin with the baby, Brandon would be coming back to the room with the baby while they finished sewing me up and then I would join them in our room. Brandon asked how long they thought he would be left alone with the baby and decided now was the time to make sure everyone in the room knew he had never held a baby before and wasn’t sure what to do. His nerves were kicking in big time!
At 10:30 the nurse came in and told me it was time. Another weird experience, and I’m not sure why I thought it would be any different, but I walked myself down the hall and into the operating room with the nurse. I guess it’s just not what you think you will be doing right before a surgery.
They did the spinal block, turned on some music, and began poking me me to make sure I couldn’t feel anything. This was one of my biggest fears so I asked the anesthesiologist to pinch me harder just to make sure I couldn’t feel it – and I still don’t know if he pinched hard or not even though he said he did – because I couldn’t feel it haha.
My doctor walked in with Brandon, grabbed him a chair to sit beside me, and told him not to stand up because more times than not husbands will think they can handle looking and then they pass out. They wasted no time at all and started on the surgery. Instantly my head started pounding. It was as if someone just flipped a switch and bam my head was hurting. We told the nurse and she said my blood pressure was rising pretty fast. They told me that they give blood pressure medicine because most of the time your blood pressure drops during procedures so they give medication to help raise it. They lowered the amount I was receiving but my head still continued pounding. I was starting to get nervous – it really felt like my head was going to explode. Brandon could sense that I was nervous and I could tell it was starting to worry him so he started saying louder and louder, “she really doesn’t feel good!” My blood pressure was still rising so they decided to stop giving me the medicine all together and it was as if they turned a switch off and my headache was gone. It was so strange!
I swear it had not even been 5 minutes and my doctor was telling me that we were almost done. It was the strangest experiencing being awake and conscious of what was going on and hearing them talk about what they were doing to you. I tried not to think about it much, and the headache was honestly a good distraction from it.
TMI and you may never be able to get this sound out of your head – but the cutting sound during the surgery reminded me of the sound of the scissors cutting fabric down the line on the fabric table at Joann Fabrics.
All of a sudden Brandon and I heard a gurgling cry and we instantly looked at one another. That was her! But then we heard nothing. We just waited and stared at each other for what felt like 10 minutes. It was probably really only a few seconds, but to hear her gurgling and crying at the same time and then hearing nothing, we were worried! I was literally holding my breath and didn’t realize it until we started hearing her cries again and I took a deep breath. At 11:31 AM my doctor held her up over the curtain and said “what’s her name?” It’s a story for another day, but many of y’all know that she remained nameless until she was 3 days old.
The nurse came and got Brandon and he went over and watched while they took her measurements and wrapped her up. I will never forget the feeling of seeing him walk up beside me holding this little bundle. It was the most surreal moment.
He laid her on me and it was then that I realized my hands were slightly numb, tingling, and I was shaking pretty intensely. Luckily I had already heard that after getting a nerve block, your body might shake so that wasn’t too surprising although it is some intense vibrating. I was so worried I was going to drop her. I also think the table I was laying on was reclined back a little because I kept telling Brandon over and over that I felt like she was sliding back. I was so scared she was going to slip right out of my hands! She laid there quietly with her eyes so alert just taking it all in.
Shortly after the nurse came over and said they would be finishing up with me soon and that Brandon and the baby could go back to our room now and wait for me.
Brandon’s first picture with Anna Kate while they waited on me. My first thought when he showed me this picture was “where is her hat?!”
When they left the room my doctor said “aren’t you glad I didn’t let you push her out?” To me she looked so tiny but all of the nurses our entire stay said she looked very “healthy” like a two month old haha. I told him she looked so small to me and he laughed and told me to guess how much she weighed. I said 8 pounds? He laughed again and said no. My next guess was 7 pounds. Everyone in the room laughed at that guess. He then told me she weighed 9 pounds even. I couldn’t believe it! He told me that once he got in there he was so thankfully we chose to have the c-section because he said it would not have been physically possible for me to deliver her vaginally. This definitely made me feel so much better about the decision.
After the procedure was over, I couldn’t believe how quick, easy, and controlled it was. I was so thankful we chose this route and we were able to keep Anna Kate safe this way.
They rolled me back to the room where Brandon and the baby were and Brandon said it had felt like the longest time of his life being left alone with her. He didn’t know what to do so they just stared at each other. We stayed in this room for a couple of hours while they monitored us before moving us to our postpartum room. My shakes had subsided but my fingers were still tingly like carpal tunnel, which I got towards the end of my pregnancy. I didn’t even realize that I had not eaten since the night before until a nurse came in and asked if I would like graham crackers or saltine crackers. I realized at that moment I was starving when I asked if I could have both please and scarfed them down.
After that my nurse asked if I needed any medication for pain. I was in no pain at all so I said no. Then she told me that we would be changing rooms soon and I would be lifted from one bed and into another. The thought of that made me hurt so I decided to go ahead and take some medicine to help with any pain this may cause. This was the only time that I took strong pain medication, the rest of my recovery and once I was home I just managed it with ibuprofen and honestly never felt much pain at all. I do have a strong pain tolerance, but again, I think I was really on cloud 9.
Because of Covid, when we were moving from one room to the next, the nurse suggested that I cover up the baby as much as possible for the least likely chance of any exposures. This was a little nerve-racking since it was July and we were hearing about covid spikes all over the country.
We got to our postpartum room and made ourselves at home for the next 3 nights. This room was a little nicer than our first room we were in and we were still feeling like we were on a mini vacation. We got a routine down the 3 nights we were there. Each morning Brandon would get us coffees from the specialty coffee shop in the lobby. Then for lunch he would pick us up something from the sandwich shop. Then we would get an afternoon pick-me-up coffee right before the coffee shop closed at 5pm, and then back to the sandwich shop for dinner. In between our meals we would walk a lap around the hospital floor we were on. I heard that it was good to get up and moving the same day after surgery for better healing. So that first night the nurse said I could do 1 lap. By the time we were being discharged I had worked my way up to 4 laps a day – 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening. These were our little outings for the day while we were there. Still to this day when we are picking up dinner and can’t decide what we want, we will joke that we could always just grab sandwiches and coffees from the hospital like the good ole days haha.
Because of the c-section, I wasn’t able to get up and down often so Brandon was thrown into the dad role real quick. From changing all of her diapers to giving her her first bath. He learned so much. When we got home he was even teaching me things that the nurses had shown him.
Typically we would have only stayed two nights, but my swelling was so severe towards the end of my pregnancy and I was even more swollen after delivery that my doctor ordered an ultrasound to be done on my legs before sending us home just to make sure there were no clots or concerns.
Fun fact – the doctor who delivered Anna Kate is the same doctor who delivered me! He came to visit us and check on us everyday and I remember after our second night he came in our room to “break the bad news” that he wanted us to stay another night for the ultrasound. I think he was shocked with how excited we were to stay an extra night. We were truly having so much fun and it was so comforting having the nurses there to ask questions. This also gave us more time to decide on her name. It wasn’t until day 3 that we made her name official and all our nurses, family, and friends were so relieved she was not going home nameless.
Our third night was a little rough and we were even more thankful that we were still in the hospital. This is when Anna Kate gave us a taste of her sleeping habits. She never woke up for any feedings, we were having to wake her up, strip her down, and wipe her with a wet washcloth to try and wake her up. We were so worried that we couldn’t sleep, we just watched her sleep. We had a nurse come in and check on her and help us. She asked me multiple times if I was really sure I wanted to wake her up because the chance of her waking and wanting to cluster feed all night would be high and tiring. I still said yes. The nurse was shocked that Anna Kate still did not want to wake up. They finally said when she got hungry enough, she would wake. That was a very long night for us. Many consider her sleeping habits lucky, but for first time parents, it was horrific! I’m always hearing people share the story of their fear the morning after the first time their child slept through the night. That was us every night for the first couple of months of her life.
It was finally time for us to go home and boy was that emotional. We had made so many memories here as a family of 3 and it felt like part of her newborn journey was already coming to an end. Because of covid, the first time Brandon was able to leave our hospital floor was to go pull the car up. He pulled the car around, brought the carseat up, and we packed our things. We had to get a cart to roll down all of our stuff (again feeling like a typical vacation for us lol) and the nurse carried the carseat with Anna Kate since I wasn’t able to lift things yet. It was bittersweet. We were so sad to be leaving but also so excited to bring her home and share her with our family. Our nurse took our first picture outside of the hospital of us as a family of 3, made sure Anna Kate was buckled in correctly, and we were off.
Before heading home we decided that if we were going to be good parents it was only right for us to introduce Anna Kate one of our favorite places, Chick-Fil-A. We went through the drive through across from the hospital and picked up lunch. As we pulled away to head home we started our new routine of pointing at the hospital to show Anna Kate where she was born.
I heard a lot of this beautiful story from my best friend, your mom. But I truly enjoyed reading your version! I am also enjoying seeing Anna Kate’s pictures you post of her growth! She is such a beautiful little girl. I know y’all are so happy and blessed to have her in your life! Thank you for this story! I can’t wait for the next one!!
Love your Anna Kate story. She sure is a beautiful baby girl❤️She looked like an old pro all bundled in her car seat to go home from the hospital💕She will love you telling her the story of “when you got me” as she grows older❤️Enjoy these days. They past so fast🙏
Your story and pictures are very special, I enjoyed all of them. Now I would really like to meet her in person!